Billy Bill up close and personal.

Jelly Nuts here, with an exclusive interview with Billy Bill. We all know that Billy Bill likes to beat people down, but your faithful reporter Jelly Nuts bravely interviewed him anyway. This is what he had to say:

Jelly Nuts: Before I ask you any questions, you aren't gonna beat my ass are you?
Billy Bill: I beat people's asses at least two times a week. It's how I release tension. I don't beat my homies asses though. Unless were fuckin' around in J's wrestling ring, then I act like I'm play wrestling with them and then hurt them for real. I might beat your ass however because your not my homie, your just a jelly ass bitch.
JN: Ok, Ok... So what exactly do you do for ICP and Psychopathic Records?
BB: I'm ICP's personal security because J and Shaggy are a couple pansy ass bitches. I mean they can fight and all that, but like women they can never be seen without there make up on. So it's my job to get them in and out of a venue without nobody seeing them. When were out in public, if I catch some kid staring at them in a restauraunt or something, I walk up and swell the kid's eyes shut. I swear sometimes fans sit there and stare at them like their wearing a g-string or something. They stare at Shaggy like he's some hot bitch in daisy dukes. They stare at J like he's Janet Jackson in a thong. What the fuck is those peoples problems? Yeah Ok, J and Shaggs are famous but that don't give you the right to sit there and stare at them, or follow them through the mall pointing and whispering like a little school girl bitch!.. That's why when I catch ninjas staring at them I knock chins loose.. That's my job, I take those bitch ass, pansy flake fans of theirs and shatter their faces. But to the real Juggalos who just shake their hand and ask for an autograph or whatever and leave the alone, I give them props.
JN: So do the ninjas at Psychopathic ever get tired of bailing your ass out of jail?
BB: No, every ninja at Psychopathic Records is my homie. We all grew up with each other. Sometimes there's new ninjas that pop in here and there but they usually quit or get fired sooner or later because this company is insane. I have a monthly budget of 20,000 dollars. If my bail cost exceeds that budget per month, then it comes out of my pocket. But I usually just make it under budget, what ever money I don't use that month, I get to keep.
JN: What were some fun times you've had while on tour with ICP?
BB: In Portland Oregon we were at a Dairy Queen style ice cream place just chillin'. This kid runs up to Shaggy screaming! He smashes right into Shaggy and Shaggy's ice cream flies all over everybody. The kid says "Hey I'm sorry dude! I just can't believe its you!" The kid didn't even finish his sentence before I blew his face out. He dropped like a sac of potatoes. We all sat down and finished our ice cream. About a half hour later we left and te kid was still unconscious on the grass. That was pretty funny. I liked it because there was no cops, no jail, no blood, no long wild fight, it was just a good old clean punch to the face on a Sunday afternoon.
JN: So I heard you help build those devastating sets that we see on stage! Tell me more about it.
BB: I work harder than a lumberjack. What else do you need to know. J and Shaggy explain to us the vision they get from the Dark Carnival and we bring it to life. I've turned down jobs at 3 different movie set companies in L.A. because I'm true to Psychopathic Records. I build stage props in my sleep. Give me a hammer and a saw and a tree and I'll build you a stage that will make the set to Jurassic Park look like a crack heads bedroom. I pound nails in with my face. I sand wood with my chin. I chop lumber with my hands. I turn screws with my teeth. I build shit like Bob Villa on Juggalo pills mother fucka.
JN: Are the freaks always on your jock?
BB: Yes, you'd be suprised at what bitches will do just to get backstage.
JN: So what kind of shit do you listen to?
BB: Other than the sound of my fist connecting with somebody's face, I litsen to Myzery, Korn, Rage, Sublime, Old N.W.A., Ghetto Boys, Legs Diamond, Jump Steady and I'm ust about played out on all this ICP. You would be too after 250 shows, 12 tours and them constantly playing their own shit in the bus like conceded bastards.
JN: Do you have anything else you want to say to the fans?
BB: Yeah, if you see ICP chillin' somewhere in public... eiter walk up and say hi and get an autograph or don't. But whatever you do... do not stare at them or whisper, point and follow them around like a sorry ass pansy little faget... unless your a chick. If you're a chick you still shouldn't stare, point, whiper or follow them unless you plan on sliding them some skins. (Or sliding me some.) Clown Luv ninjas and ninjetts and remember... Stay down with the clown until your dead in the ground INXS style byatch!