OK, this will be my first ever album review. Now I'm no music critic and, quite frankly, they can all go to hell for trying to think for us, so I will now turn myself into a complete hippocrite and tell you what to think of the CD, Sumophobia!

To understand this cd, you must first understand the band Worm Quartet. Worm Quartet's music is much like Big Money Hustlas in the fact that while it does usually have a plotline, it is mainly there to make you laugh with complete and utter silliness. Juggalos of all people should understand this, since most of us laugh uncontrollably at the mere utterance of the words, "Magic, magic, ninjas, whut?" Worm Quartet is a punk-inspired band, but unlike most punk music that makes you want to kick somebody's teeth in, Worm Quartet is the type of band that will lighten up any mood you're in because it reminds you that the world is a very, very funny place to live, if you look at it the right way. Shoebox, Worm Quartet's lone member, should be remembered as one of the great thinkers of our time.

Sumophobia features 18 tracks (13 of which are songs) of pure brilliant nonsense! From the opening intro entitled "Bunny Bunny Wop Wop" you can tell that you're in for an interesting ride. After this odd beginning, we are introduced to Shoebox's musical talents in the form of the song "Coffee" which pokes fun at mundane office life and explores the adventures of a bored employee who drinks a little too much coffee. This song is one of my favorites. The use of Maxwell House's(I think) jingle was simply brilliant! Another peice of brilliance is in the song "I Bit William Shatner" which is a barber shop quartet sung all by Shoebox! That's right, he sang all four parts and then edited it all together. It sounds surprisingly well, and probably would have been number one in 1923. The song is about, what else, biting Captain Kirk and is filled with the usual Worm Quartet wit. A definite work of art. "Hair on the Soap" was the first song I heard from Worm Quartet and remains my favorite. The musical score and vocals combine like a delicous soup in this song about discovering unfamiliar hairs on one's soap. The lyrics, as always, are amazing (IE "There's a hair on my soap, an ugly little thing! A little pubic souvenire upon my Irish Spring"). The crown jewel of the CD is without a doubt the instant classic "I Don't Give a Shit About Your Website." Ever had someone beg you to look at their webpage, so you do only to see banners, broken links and nothing of interest? This song is for you! "I Don't Give a Shit About Your Website" is filled with raw aggression, yet it is a very well thought out and truthful song. It leaves you thinking, "Yeah, I would subscribe that person to the Micael Bolton mailing list, too!" Worm Quartet has received a lot of praise for this song, and rightfully so. At the very end of the CD there is a serious song thrown in. "Can of Worms" is about weak minded, fake, leaches that feed off their friends and also about trying to hold in the anger towards such pussies. This song is good and would probably garner more attention if Worm Quartet was known for that kind of music.

Overall the cd flows well and has a few, well placed skits that are sure to bring out a chuckle. As I've said before, the music reminds me of Screaching Weasel, but that and the Misfits (are they really punk?) are the extent of my punk experience...so I am no expert. Please listen to a few songs at the Worm Quartet MP3.com page! This CD is an absolute STEAL at the price of $5.99!!